Step 0: Germany

Before my big travels start, I wanted to go back to germany one more time to spend time with my family and friends. And I am not gonna lie to you, I had some doubts about being in germany for 6 weeks.

You may ask yourself: „why you lived there more than 25 years?“ Yes, I did and it wasn’t a „difficult life“ or whatsoever. I mean let’s be rational: Bavaria is a nice place to live. mountains and lakes close by, beer and good conditions to get a degree and job. Okay trying to write down the nice things of Germany, I am realizing I find hardly more than these 3.😅

Anyways; for me personally I was „content“ before I moved to spain. A nice flat, 2 cats, visiting my parents on the weekends and routines were the things that I was very grateful for. But for those of you who read the love letter to Barcelona, they know that I could grow from content to abundant and happy. Genuine, free and effortless. I could sense that with going out of germany, meeting new people and traveling my soul expanded.

So long story short, thats why had some difficulties imagining myself back in germany, in the house of my parents. I mean everyone who moved out of their parents house knows that feeling. I had so many different views of life, starting with even the simple things like my nutrition as I am vegan and I found it more difficult to live with non-vegans. I knew that it was a barrier that I made in my mind, which made it feel that way. At least partly. The morning of leaving Barcelona, after a more than beautiful evening with my friends, roomies and tofu (the cat) - I sat at the airport, 5 a.m. - having a little mental breakdown, crying and questioning my life decisions. 😐

Well, spoiler: I had an amazing time in Germany. I was so grateful about the nature and took our two Huskies for a walk almost every morning. It was December so I had the luck to experience some snowy days.

The fields, trees and landscapes covered in beautiful white and a light pink sky from the sunrise. Almost as incredible as my yoga sunrises at the pier in Barcelona.

The cold fresh air in my lungs and the cracking sound of ice and snow underneath my feet. Almost as good as the smell of pee and the cracking sound of dead cockroaches underneath my feet.

The dogs running and zooming through the snow and being so happy and frisky. Almost as good as being with my favorite dog in Barcelona (Paco).

I could appreciate these things so much, now that I missed out on that for a while. Spending time with my family was also really something I think, I needed. We move out and make our own experiences, expand our mind and develop new values. Live moves so fast and we are so excited to go for the next experience, the next adventure, the next big project. And I love that, I am living for it.

But being reunited with your family and calming down for Christmas, baking cookies, watching series and listening to music - that is also healing. Realizing how precious it is to have a good relationship to your parents and that they appreciate and love you. That's not for granted for everyone. It is a privilege and maybe I wasn’t as aware before I left germany behind me as I am now.

I cooked for them and most of the time we all ate vegan food and drank hot wine. My mum loved music that I showed her and we danced with the dogs. I painted pokemons with my niece for hours. In my home office I had a fireplace and not to forget I had plenty of cuddle sessions with the dogs. 🥰

The last 2 weeks Is stayed with my aunt. Here I could also have more calmness. As the life here is less various in activities I am happy to focus more on my routines. Morning meditation, yoga, walk then work and gym. Also I could spend a bit more time with my brothers and their family. I often read the a saying that expresses: If you think you are spiritual, go and spend time with your family. And that's so true 😅 When you're peaceful and know how to handle your emotions, in the environment that you chose; it's the next level to do the same around your family. Obviously they know exactly the buttons to press and how to trigger you.

So I learned a lot and saw it as a lesson to be compassionate. Always telling myself that everyone acts with the best of intentions, based on his/her references and level of consciousness.

Over all it was so magical and once again showed me that my worries and doubts were so unnecessary. That reminds me of a quote I heard today:

Worrying is like walking with an umbrella waiting for it to rain. - Wiz Khalifa

So in the end we can’t control what happens in the future and it will happen as it should be. In my case I really appreciated that time and now I am ready to go on my journey.